Intro from Lindsay: As we continue to make Camp Little Notch a place where all people can practice living in harmony with nature, each other, and themselves, we'd like to pause and share a departure from the Friends of Camp Little Notch board. Effective as of February 1, 2013, shayden gonzalez has stepped down from his position as vice president. Below is a note from him about his departure. We wish him luck and thank him for his work and continued support of Little Notch. Please feel free to contact me at any time if you have questions or comments. - Lindsay
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From shay...
I clearly remember the first time that I saw Little Notch, I remember Sly Pond Rd sneaking off of Hog Town Rd and already feeling nervous. Remarking, “the GPS says we’re only 10 miles away, but it says it’ll take 30 minutes to get there, that’s weird.” Then watching my cell phone signal creep down bar by bar until it only read “searching.”
I was with Jules (and that was his first East Coast summer). We were anxious, excited, and anticipatory as we watched the paved road drop to gravel not too far from Miller’s Way and then change to dirt where the Keech’s family plot is. Finally, with a right turn we arrived at CLN. The clouds disappeared under tree coverage and I got butterflies that same way you do when your crush flirts with you for the first time.
Just a few months earlier Jo Lum had called me and asked me to join the CLN community as the “Community Building and Social Consciousness Coordinator.” There were no job roles exactly but I’d been doing work in the field for years and felt excited to be co-creating with others. However, when I got there I quickly found out that there was no foundation for that work and the community at large hadn’t been informed that this was the direction that their beloved CLN was taking. I’d love to write “and then SUDDENLY we were welcoming to everyone” but instead some of the most vocal members of the community did not welcome me (though they welcomed Jules) with open arms.
Briefly hurt, I reflected and realized that this community has historically been predominately constructed around moderate and liberal white, middle to upper-middle and owning class women coming into their identities, feminism, and convening with nature. I realized that when you meet me you see black man and not, a left of progressive, bi-racial transguy with experience as a girl, from a working class family, educated in feminisms, performativity, and manipulating language. I also realized that to some community members before I opened my mouth about social consciousness, my presence was already a threat to a women’s space.
Taking what I initially perceived as a community’s refusal to change and instead understanding it as a community’s act of resistance just like any amazing social change movement (think Suffragettes and Civil Rights), I admired the strength that came from the women I surrounded myself with at CLN (and their dedication to protecting what feels safe to them).
After working out my own feelings I was excited that this was our work! That beginning first with working these things out together could be good work for the community and is a part of social consciousness and community building, that it’s simultaneously: intergenerational, cross-class, cross-cultural, and gender inclusive!
That summer I honored the community’s dedication to self-protection with two-hour meetings about meals, answering invasive questions, and hour long one-on-ones about connection to the land. I hosted raffles, held space for a hundred people to mourn the loss of what CLN was, and still shopped for three hours to make sure Jules had everything he needed to cook a delicious meal.
A few months later, I was invited to join the Board and with great faith in the possibility of the mission, I did. We worked hard, harder than I expected and lost so many board members along the way due to unsustainable volunteer practices and inaccuracy about how much work we needed to do as an organization.
This past year we got a slew of new board members who are passionate about the work and host to a number of amazing skills but I do not see us actively utilizing those skills. I also worry that the work still falls on a few very number of active people. I also don’t think that we’re engaging the larger community in a way that feels fruitful. I want our engagement to be more than calling for money and occasional meetings, I long for our transparency.
And even more so, I would love to see an honest conversation about the top down decision to be an “all inclusive” organization and to see the membership share their dreams for the land.
I am sure that Little Notch will get there and that in that process there needs to be dedicated people to get us there but currently the work of the feels, unclear, and passive aggressive with a resistance to conversations about sustainable ways to bring in: people with less money, engaging communities of color/actively identifying why we keep loosing people of color, and how we can logically be open to people with varying levels of physical ability.
I’ve never felt this more than during our major donor briefing where very few folks spoke to this elephant in the room. There are organizations that grow monetarily and fundraise while doing this other very hard work, but does CLN want to be one of these organizations? The choice is truly your own.
I undoubtedly love the land and the spirit of the community but I do not see us going in way that feels fruitful or is in line with the work that I want to see happening in the world nor the work I understood us to be doing when coming into this venture.
It has been important to me to build a Little Notch Community concurrently with building a community in Philadelphia. However, I will be moving on to focus my personal, political, and work efforts toward building a home, business, and community that does actively transformative work.
As much as I want to, I don't believe I can hold Little Notch in that process right now nor do I believe Little Notch can hold me.
Because of this I will be resigning from the BOD active 2/1/13.
I am still going to continue supporting the organization in other ways and keep my ongoing donation.
Thank you for welcoming me into your community and please don’t give up the struggle, Little Notch deserves to happen.
With continued solidarity,
shay